Friday, September 11, 2009

Book Review: Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife

Duplicate Post from Chic Chat...


Amazon.com Review:
Just as A Mormon Mother is the standout memoir of a 19th-century polygamous woman's life, this autobiography offers the compelling voice of a contemporary plural wife's experiences. Daughter of a second wife, Spencer was raised strictly in the Principle as it was lived secretly and illegally by fringe communities of Mormon fundamentalists—groups that split off from the LDS Church when it abandoned polygamy more than a century ago.

In spite of her mother's warnings and the devotion of a boyfriend with monogamist intentions, Spencer followed her religious convictions—that living in polygamy was essential for eternal salvation—and became a second wife herself at the age of 16 in 1953.

It's hard to tell which is more devastating in this memoir: the strains of husband-sharing with—ultimately—nine other wives, or the unremitting poverty that came with maintaining so many households and 56 children. Spencer's writing is lively and full of engaging dialogue, and her life is nothing short of astonishing.

After 28 years of polygamous marriage, Spencer has lived the last 19 years in monogamy. Her story will be emotional and shocking, but many readers will resonate with the universal question the memoir raises: how to reconcile inherited religious beliefs when they grate against social norms and the deepest desires of the heart.

My Review:

According to Irene Spencer's biography, she is currently the mother of fourteen children (one was adopted, thirteen are her own children), the grandmother of 123, and the great-grandmother of 61. While these numbers alone are astonishing, her story of being a plural wife and enduring horrible poverty is just as equally incredible.

I found this book to be quite a page turner, and read through the 400 pages very quickly. Throughout the book, I had to keep reminding myself that the unbelievable story was an actual memoir, and not a storyline from "Big Love", or any other TV show.

While I enjoyed the book, I found it a little painful to read at times, because I have never been in Irene's shoes and felt an incredible pressure from a religion that was brainwashed into me from a very early age. Irene knows what her heart truly desires (to be a man's only beloved wife), yet she also believes she must follow her religious path, and become a goddess on her own planet in heaven. To achieve this goal, a polygamist must acquire at least seven wives (called a quorum), and have as many children as possible with these wives. Though he will ultimately be in charge of this world in heaven, his wives will receive the honor of being goddesses, rather than just angels.

Irene even gives up a man that she believes could have been her soul mate in order to become another man's second wife. I used the word "painful" above, because so often, I found myself thinking "Just get out of there!", yet she stays for twenty-eight years.

Overall, I definitely enjoyed reading this book, and found it incredibly interesting. I also enjoyed Irene's witty and sometimes sarcastic sense of humor, as well as her honesty in sharing her disappointing sexual relationship with her polygamous husband. I would definitely recommend this memoir!

Have you read this book? If so, what did you think?



2 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow! I need to read that book!
I'm reading one ritght now called My Lobotomy by Howard Dully, which is also a memoir and its pretty good considering the author had a lobotomy. Very sad and disturbing though, just heartbreaking.

Anonymous said...

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