Change & Hope

I think I'm ready to write it now. I think that maybe I just didn't want it to be true, but now that I can see that some good can come from this, I'm ready to share.

After a week from hell last week, mostly issues involving having the new dog here, which has NOT been as easy as I had hoped... I soon realized that my other problems were so small compared to others. (Note to self, stop sweating the small stuff)

Last Friday afternoon, I learned that I, like so many others in my state and in the U.S in general, will be losing my job.

My boss from our bay area office called me and told me that my last day would be next Friday. I tried to be calm, but that's really not my strong point, to be honest.

After ending the conversation, I went to our little office bathroom, sat in the dark, and sobbed. I cried until even my waterproof mascara came off and the horrible red blotches that are a curse of my Irish inheritance appeared all under my eyes and around my lips. Huge, horrible, disgusting sobs that probably frightened anyone who walked by the bathroom.

And then I stopped... I told Russ, my friend Ariadna, and my parents.

I talked to my office boss for awhile and calmed down, and then drove home on what used to be a cherished afternoon.

When I got home, I talked to my dad, and he said that he wanted me to get back in school full-time. I realized that he was right, because honestly, if I don't get that piece of paper, this will keep happening to me. Especially if times continue to be hard in our country.

I spoke with my mom, and she said the exact same thing. To go back to school and we would figure everything else out from there.

Sooooo... the next Monday morning (this past Monday), I left work and registered at the college near me. My first class? Creative Writing.

I have two other classes to add, but since I am a late-starting student, they are full, and I will have to go ask the professor if I can add.

It was a little eerie to me, that my last day at work, was the weekend right before my classes start.

And the fact that I made it just in time to apply for student aid.

And that I filled the last space in the writing class.

There's no such thing as coincidence.

I also didn't realize that I was so close to being able to transfer!

So I guess it really did take something forcing me back to school, because to be honest, I never would have made this plunge on my own.

Times are certainly going to be hard with our little family, but I NEED to make this work.

-K